My workmate is driving me insane..

[Worzel]

Long story short... She was in a 3 year relationship with a guy who works at our office.
He cheated on her numerous times, got his ex pregnant while he was with her... Basically treated her like shit... But she still kept going back to him like an idiot.

Anyway, she's finally broken free, and now because we still work with him, shes making things very difficult... Every two minutes its "omg i cant go outside for a fag, what if he's there"...

I have a direct view of the front door, and if it bangs, shes straight on at me "was that him, has he gone out, has he come back in, is he stood there" etc... Its sending me up the wall!!

She darent go upstairs to make a coffee incase he's there as thats where he works and its pathetic.

Yes, i agree shes hurting, but come on, shes 40, not 14!

Anyway, the last straw yesterday was when me and another colleague were talking about babies... I said i'd love it if my fiance asked me if we wanted to start trying, but because we're not living together [we will be in another few months], nor are we married... she launched into a massive attack on me about morals and how she thinks its disgusting bringing a child into the world when the parents aren't living together/married... and im guessing this is all because her ex got another woman pregnant.

I dread coming into work now, because I know its going to be another day of the same shit... her being a child about the whole thing with her ex, and forcing her opinions on me based on her experience with her ex.

Do I say something to her? Or will she just calm down at some point do you think?

[Loccy]

Find her a new hookup. If she has something to flaunt to him then she may not feel the need to avoid him. She obviously isn't moving on to well.

[Jume.]

I think you should talk to her about how much this is bothering you. There is no reason for you to suffer for her.

Also you could just talk to her about talking with her ex to get closure. And as Loccy said, find her a new hookup (:

Good luck. (:

[koilady]

The unfortunate thing about being friends with people who have just ended a relationship is this exact scenario. (The other unfortunate time is when your friends have just gotten into a new relationship and they are just all peaches and cream naive about how life is going to be until you just want to swat them back down to reality).

I would personally tell her that you wanted to talk about them in three separate topics. The first would be regarding your friendship most importantly. Tell her that you are there for her and offer to go out for a "girls night" of no worrying about work or your signifigant other or her cheating ex or anything like that. Tell her that while you can't do it all the time, you are her friend and remind her that you will always try to make time for her.

And while your on that topic, tell her the second thing you need to talk about is your work relationship. Tell her your her friend and while you love working with her, you CANNOT let your friendship interfere with you getting your work done. Tell her that you don't bring your filing to the dinner table or or send faxes when you two go out together so you can't bring your duties as a friend into your desk every morning either. Try to be nice about it (I don't know your friend but if she gives you attitude I would just tell her that if she doesn't like it, that you are sorry but you can't risk losing your income because you didn't get paid because you didn't get your work done since you were otherwise occupied by your "doorman duties").

The third thing is the whole moral issue she has with you having a child and everything. I would let that slide for now and take it as a bitchy comment that got made because she's upset about her ex and the baby he is now expecting with his ex and everything else. If she brings it up again though, I would tell her that while you respect her opinions they are not the same ones that you have and you would not force your moral opinions on her and would appreciate it if she would do the same. There are places you have to draw lines in a friendship and just explain to her that this is one of them for you. You would not tell her to change religions just because you don't like hers, and why should she have the right to change your beliefs?

Hope that helps some.

[Dani loves Sean]

I know how people can get that way, because I do.
I honestly think that she should take a day or two off of work to recoup.
Try to take her out one Friday or Saturday evening, or on a day when you both don't have to go to work the next day. Keeping a person involved will take their mind off of a negative situation. If she continues to bother, address the things that koilady said about the working friendship status, because you both could get in trouble for this type of behavior.

Report back what happens. (: