Overwhelmed.

[toastybear]

I haven't had a job in a while due to my surgery. We were behind on bills as it was and it just put us farther in the hole. I found out earlier that I need to go in and have even more surgery, and they need to put me under. My insurance doesn't cover anesthesia (yes I finally got insurance) so I would be paying out of pocket for that, although I need the surgery. The out of pocket costs for the anesthesia is around 300.00 which isn't horrible. My moms bf is thinking about helping me, which is good. I haven't been going to the mailbox lately because I didn't want to know what the bills looked like. I finally went out there about an hour ago to finally get all the mail (after about two weeks, it was chock full, the mail lady must hate me). Well, that was a bad idea. I don't know if the electric can get shut off in the winter, but... they are threatening to. The cable/internet has already gotten shut off several times, and I've been submitting invalid checks to turn it back on. I know thats bad, but I have been paying on it when I could. I have to keep it on because my phone is through the internet, and my only job as of right now is on the internet. I just found out I am two months behind on rent, even though I thought I was all caught up. And, I haven't been paying my insurance so I don't even know if its going to cover me at all.

What got me was the rent. I really thought I was on the right track with it, and I was actually excited to finally have it paid off so I could quit giving every cent to the landlord (except 50 a week for gas/food). He says we are two months behind, but I SWEAR there is no way. We've been giving him every single check we get since August. There is simply no way. However, the bf, keeps throwing away the reciepts, so I have no proof, and we are stuck paying it. I am so overwhelmed.

To top it off, I am sick as a dog. I can't sleep anymore because I am constantly worried about the situation we are in. During the summer, the electric was shut off, and I am afraid to live through that again. The stress and the lack of sleep is making my immune system shit. I had an interview today at Walmart, not exactly my dream job, but I am desperate right now. Nannying isn't going to start up again until about March, so I have to find SOMETHING. There are slim pickings out here right now in terms of jobs, so if I am hired by Walmart I am going to be lucky.

If I could move back home with my mom, I would. In an instant. I miss being able to go out and go to the movies, or do simple things. I feel like I can't leave the house much anymore because money is a security to me. And if something happens while I am "out" there is no way for me to be able to take care of it.


I don't need sympathy, or comments even, I just needed to vent. I want to try to sleep eventually tonight, and I just..can't. I thought maybe venting would do the trick.

[The Gentleman]

Do you live in the US? If you do...have you thought about applying for medicaid? There's no shame in applying for government assistance....you've worked hard and paid your taxes and now that you need help...you should take advantage of what's in place to help you out. It should help you cover everything...medical...prescriptions...dental...ey e care and if you look even further...there is also food...rent and heating.

There is also Social Security disability. It's all out there...just research where you're located and start applying for everything.

Keep strong!

[Jume.]

I know you said no sympathy but im soo sorry. What surgeries are you getting?
Why don't you move back with your mom if you want to?
Keep postive hun.
Lets hope for that job acceptance!
<3

[toastybear]

I can't move back in with my mom, unfortunately . And I've tried for disability, it failed. I also tried to get back on my survivor benefits (from my dads death) and that failed too. I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't want to live off the state, but it would have helped me for a few months. ty guys

[Auto-Merged Double Post]
I have to have surgery on my jaw again. I've already had it, but I went in the other day and more fractures have appeared blah blah blah.

[Suri]

Aw, I'm sorry to hear that.
I hope you stay strong through this.

I wish you all the best. Good luck and I'll be praying for you.