Unfaithful

[ruka]

a ruru original..

This is a story that I've written months ago, i was so inspired when i wrote it cause of an anime called school days...
I wrote six chapters straight in one day...

then stopped.. hope i can continues it, but anyway, here's chapter one..

Chapter one
I love you

Unfaithful

That’s the only word to describe us, you, me, and what we used to be…

unfaithful…

*Walking all alone had never felt so different, it’s like missing a part of you that was once you’re everyday. Every special place you know seems to have lost it’s significance. It’s the moment when you realize that everything means nothing, nothing at all…*

An online love story I read, love, is there even such a thing…

“I love you…” He typed, “LOL, me too.”… 3 words I can never say without meaning it. I just can’t say it, “I love you” never seemed so meaningless and pathetic. “Damn I miss you. Can you go here today?” He typed, “I cant I don’t have money. I only have like 70 pesos left.” I don’t wanna go there yet, I can’t, if you’re interested even a bit in even pursuing me, you should be the one going here and to think you can say words “I love you” without even meaning it, how pathetic... “You just don’t wanna see me, are you ashamed of me?” he typed. “No, that’s not it, I really don’t have enough money.” I really don’t have enough money, why do you have to ask me twice, once is enough, once is understandable. “You always deny me.” He typed, “You’re over reacting over nothing” words I wish I could have typed. What is it about love and drama, I don’t get it, why are they connected, isn’t it easier to love without going through all that. “…” It seemed like he left already, why are you always so stubborn and dramatic, sometimes I feel like you’re the girl.

“You still there?” later on I’d type something to keep drama flowing on and on, I hate how things are, like really, I hate his drama. “Yeah.” He’d type back, “So how you doing?” I then ask, just to keep it going on. “I’m just waiting for you to say something again.” I hate how he doesn’t understand English very well, since English isn’t really our first language. “That’s not what I asked, I asked how you’re doing, not what you’re doing.” I typed back, I don’t get it. What did he even like about me? He does say I am the only person that understands him. But in reality, I’m the least he should expect to understand since I don’t even understand my self well enough on why I should still be with him. “…” I guess he’s dramatizing again. “*phegz signed out*” Then there would be times like this. For a person very numb such as I am, I never thought were that much alike.

[jtingx]

Nice

Where are the other 5 Chapters?

I want to read them

[ruka]

oooh, still in BA.. lolz.. i'll pot them here then.. haha

Chapter 2
Chat

I met you online on some random bizarre chat room. “Hello? ” Who in the world? “ASL? ” What’s with the smiley, Don’t use smiley’s when you’re not really smiling in real life, how fake. “16 F” I typed back, please don’t bother me anymore and go back to your own misery.

“So, what do you wanna talk about?” Were not actually talking, that’s why were in a chat room. “I dunno, you think about it.” I don’t wanna waste my time with you. “Got myspace?” The usual “I wanna know what you look like” line, you should have just asked for it, but I’ll give it anyway. “I’ll just add you.” I typed so I did, I don’t have enough random friends on my space, so yeah, I can add pretty much whoever I want, and to think he doesn’t look as bad as I though they all would.

“Ok I’m done adding you. ” I said, and to think I’ve warmed up that easily, well I am a girl anyways. “Tnx! I’ll approve it now.” He typed. It seemed like I freaked him out with how I looked on myspace, well I can’t blame anyone, no one ever liked me, and I don’t really give a damn about them. “You still there? WOW, you look so pretty.” he typed, the obvious boy “I’m collecting girls” line, I’m not an expert but it works for lots of women, but don’t give in so easily. I just don’t get it why they’d have to say things they don’t mean without very well knowing the reaction and feelings of the other person they say it to. “Haha, you don’t look bad you’re self.” I typed, come to think of it, he was the first to say, though I assume it’s not real, I might be closing to conclusions already. “Do you have a bf?” What was he playing on here, did I by any means do anything wrong? I was clearly sending a message that I’m not interested, seeing by the looks of it, it seemed normal that he received compliments about being handsome and all that before I even replied seconds ago. “No I don’t, and I’m not really allowed to have one.” And to think I’d give a sugar coated answer to a stranger, but really, I’m not interested in strangers you meet on bizarre chat rooms. “Wait, can I be your boyfriend if you’re not really seeing anyone?” he typed quickly before I could have blocked him. “By the way you look, it’s impossible for you not to have a boyfriend, please don’t leave yet” and here is when he jumps from “I know my game” to “I’m clearly desperate” ah yes, the classic “I cant get action in the real world, so I’d try it online” pathetic, what am I even doing here. And what even made him think that I’m leaving, I was just gonna block him and move on with my life. But I guess a little drama wont hurt that much. So I played on his plot of desperation into my total ruin.

Through the whole chat, he kept on inserting the topic about relationships, as he kept on blabbing in and on, I eventually planted the wrong idea inside his head and made him think that we were actually together that moment on. I didn’t mean it, it was an accident, and accidental tragedy that I couldn’t live with. I never felt so guilty when he was like all jumping happy up and down as it seemed so he typed. I don’t believe it anyways. From that moment on I knew it, I have to… I have to break up with him. Though were not officially together, I just had to make things right, I’m that kind of person, stupid super hero complex of mine. All out of my stupidity of playing alone, I end up sinking riding the waves he threw.

Was I about to make the same mistake again? Where lies become real?

Our relationship was about lies and deception, the ideal relationship, fake and exists only when we chat but disappears when we leave the virtual illusion of love in the internet.

[lilruzzngirl]

wow, your writing is really good! makes me want to read more and more lol. be sure to post more once you have it

[maddie123]

your talented keep writing it interesting

[ruka]

LOL, tnx for reading, i'll add chapter three now, sadly, i only have till 8..

chapter three is the boring part, and it extends up to the 5th, hope it would really make sense though, lolz. oh well.

Chapter 3
First Love

By now you must be wondering on how I became so heartless. There’s a story behind all of it. And the story is even worst than my first real and online accidental boyfriend. The person that I came to believe I will love forever. Is a girl…

We were seatmates during elementary days, but the story doesn’t stop there, we first met when I transferred to Arian academy, we were in fourth grade that time. We didn’t know much about each other back then, only the weirdly strange fact that our names were exactly the same only our last names made a difference. Not only that, but many people actually say that we looked a like, like were sisters or twins or something. But I never thought that I’d actually like her, I always hated her for some unknown reason, I just found it weird how she looked like me and was my complete and total opposite.

“Hey Sam, you’ve got anyone you like now?” a question I always get but never really answered, when I was young, I found it easier just to watch upon other peoples relationship and be confused and wonder about how it felt like… Love…

Then on our sixth grade I was seated right next to her, I never though she had such a nice and lovable personality, so enlightening and pure. She’s the type of persons who’d say “I love you” so constantly that it would be weird if she doesn’t say it a day in her life. She’d give unwanted hugs, she’d sing for you though you find it annoying, she gets you to do things you never thought you could, she can inspire you a day, you searching for inspiration your whole life.

At graduation practices she’d be the one to arrange everyone’s voicing, she’d orchestrate the whole batch, she had the courage to do all that. Then one day, as I was watching her do her same routine during graduation practices, I just sat on my chair staring at her singing, then I felt uneasy, an unexplainable pain in my chest started to grow, it’s like gasping for the air you cant find, painful, tormenting, terrifying.

I didn’t know it back then, but I intentionally bought two soda cans, I didn’t know what I was doing; I just had the weirdest sentiment of her asking me to let her drink. I just sat my loser like self there watching her do her thing over the stage. I kept on having the urge of just giving it to her, but I couldn’t, I guess I wanted her to ask for it. I just had to drink it all. Together with my weird sentiment, and yes let’s remind ourselves were both girls.

During graduation day, I was amazed on how she got a lot of awards since were seated according to height we were each others seat mate once more. I actually accepted the fact that I might like her, since the odds of seeing her in high school is very low. So that day I accepted that I liked her, a girl, she made me feel a bit better about my self, or was I mistaking her friendship for something else, since I’m experiencing something new, was I being selfish somehow?

I kept on wanting to have a picture of her, in the end, I never got her picture.

I just hoped on that day on for me to never see her again, it’s for the best. Her life is to perfect, I wouldn’t wanna enter it the way I am. Which is a GIRL!